Colette Obrien

the Greek Goddess Nemesis is the personification of divine justice and the vengeance of the gods, sometimes called the daughter of Night, she represents the righteous anger of the gods against the proud and haughty and against breakers of the law, distributing good or bad fortune to all mortals. No one can escape her power. This goddess helps to avenge those who are wronged.

The book of deeds; how terrifying it is to think there is such a book, and that someday we will have to face the truth of the many actions and inactions recorded there.

I would rather face a wild boar or angry client or bankruptcy, or any other physical catastrophe than to face what is in that book; to face the fact that I am responsible for each and every one of the things recorded there.

Part of me is still a child and wishes to play with no consequences; to apologize to my friend when I’ve been mean to her and go on with no further thought about my behavior.

Nemesis reminds us that whether we’re children or adults, all our choices have consequences, and if we’ve done harm, amends are required.

Isn’t it interesting that our current definition of a Nemisis is one who is against us; an enemy or foe?  Yet the root meaning is one of justice. 

What a clever criminal is the human ego who redefines the need to make amends for our mistakes as wrong, and says that we should fight that force, rather than accept and be grateful that there is a scale, by whatever name we give to it, that takes account, and

                                            it really does matter what we do!!!!

The fool is not the only agent of surprise.  Coyote and his side-kick  the trickster are all cousins in the neverending question of what will life bring next?

Like Wells Fargo stagecoaches that, through rain sleet or snow, promise to deliver your mail on time, each morning is a new day, and though you work diligently to control what comes in the mail, many surprises lie in wait on your doorstep.

 Will the gods be kind and deliver marvelous experiences, taking us to beautiful places with loving people, friendly animals, abundant food, beauty?

Or will they traumatize?         

Is there any rhyme or reason to what comes or doesn’t come to you? If there is a God, does He/She love you and give you goodies, or hate you and punish you with thorns?    

Do you draw to you what you believe will come through some version of self-fulfilling prophesy; create your own reality?    And what happens to the idea of a creator in that scenario?

If you are a soul transmigrating through time and have done wrong things, the packages at your door will be of your making; Karmic payback for pastlife mistakes.   

On the other hand, maybe there is simply a trickster element in the universe, like a kind of quark, whose purpose is to keep you on your toes, keep you awake, to the experience of life. 

Each surprise whether delightful or Nemetic (just made up that word, but it seems to work) is a tiny ah ha, gotcha, to remind us that whatever we believe about life and our place in it, we are not in charge!!

Maybe the only control we have is in how we respond to the packages.

And what is a Nemesis anyway? Tomorrow we shall meet her, one of the lost great goddesses maligned in western history since the Greeks fell out of favor giving way to The One God.

Every adventure is begun by the fool, every treasure discovered by risk, there is no reward without consequence–good or bad?

How many fools headed across America, through unmapped territory inhabited by millions of angry displaced original inhabitants, unheard of mammoth predators, limitless mountain ranges, killer weather, barely anything to eat  . . .  in search of what? Opportunity; gold in California, land for farming and raising livestock, freedom from oppression . . .

All at a risk I’m happy to say I did not have to take.                                         

                                                                                                    Ship Of Fools

 Of the hundreds of thousands of fools on that ship who risked everything for the slim chance of finding Gold, what percentage were rewarded positively for their efforts, and how many, by the end of the arduous journey, felt at best foolish, and at worst were ruined?

Those many unfortunate souls would have certainly believed a cruel April Fools trick had been played on them.  Isn’t that why we have an April Fools Day; to celebrate and hopefully laugh at the times when our foolish leap has ended in our having been tricked?

I have 3 younger brothers and this particular holiday was a favorite of ours growing up. None of us ever missed an opportunity to play a trick, and because it was sanctioned on this day, be forgiven. 

However, being tricked by the fool is difficult to forgive when the trick costs us more than a little loss of face.  The fool does not intent to hurt but only to prick the ego’s bubble when it has become inflated.  (Reference yesterdays essay on the importance of the fool in the courts of kings.)  Losing face is an important side effect of the fool, for his purpose is to prevent us from  thinking too highly of ourselves; his tricks are meant to keep us humble.

Known for his headlong leaps into the void,the fool counterbalances worries and concerns.  Why else have the courts of kings and emperors included at least one fool for he lightened the atmosphere giving a much needed breath of fresh air to the anxieties of the ruler. 

If the ruler of a domain is our ego selves, the fool is that archetype that turns things on their head, makes us laugh, and for a moment, forget our fear. 

Life in a physical body is fraught with danger.  Though we may not be aware of it every moment of the day, the struggle for survival is present in the body every moment of the day. Fortunately the creator of this grand experience has granted us several boons.

Like the child who puts his blanket over his head and believes his mother can’t see him, denial is an effective tool.  Another useful one is distraction; I will pay attention to acquiring things– or any number of other goals– and won’t be aware of the danger.

However, it isn’t possible to completely avoid the fact that we’re mortal and vulnerable to so many forms of suffering on the road to our final destination. 

The fool is the friend who, throughout our life, helps us to walk more lightly , knowing it is temporary and, well, he quips, why not? What have you got to lose that you’re not going to lose anyway?

Encouraging us to risk all in order to experience life fully, he represents purity of action. Only looking forward, never back, never strategizing or over thinking a movement, he seeks to discover, always willing to take a chance, come what may. The fool lives to live. He frightens us a little because nothing frightens him. He is a liberated spirit.

But . . but . . . our fearful selves object, one must not be fool-hardy.  Right-O.  And what pray tell is the difference?

If I am offered an opportunity for an adventure, my fool will say go for it no matter what, while my rational self will insist on considering the possible consequences of that adventure.  Between the two of them a decision will be made. 

If I’m in need of new life experience, I will leap.  If I’m tired, or ill-equipped at the moment to take on the challenge of an adventure, I will decline the invitation.  I would feel fool-hardy only if I didn’t consider both sides. 

I would be even more fool-hardy if I didn’t give license to the fool to take an active part in my daily life. . . who wants to be safe all the time is already dead!

What if the Big Bang were the first kiss?

Aphrodite’s favorite child is Eros, or as the Romans named him, Amour. What does it mean to be the child of the goddess of Love but that he is her messenger? When that powerful goddess chooses to unite 2 objects by sending her son with his quiver of arrows, union is assured. Eros is the connecting force sent by the essence; Aphrodite.

The planet we inhabit revolves around a sun in a spiraling galaxy. On earth, the constant creation of life depends on a cycle of seasons; each one following the other in a continual round.  For life as we know it to endure, there must be a time of birth, growth, and destruction.

Aphrodite/Eros assure creation. Without the attraction of objects to one another there would be no new life.  The earth would stop spinning; the sun, having lost an admirer, would wobble out of control in dark despair and lose its place in the galaxy; with the loss of one of its members the billions of other stars would also loss hope/connection, and very quickly, what began as a first kiss, would end in a rout of unconnected atoms.

Thus spoke an incurable romantic. 

But seriously, love connects everything– it is a force–and maybe what physics calls the electromagnetic force is what we call love. Maybe the reason that we as humans cannot resist Eros’ arrow is because it’s correct to be so humbled; to realize through the experience of inescapable attraction, we’re being moved by a greater force than our small wills, and that that force is benevolent.

Wikipedia:

• In physics, attraction may refer to gravity or to the electromagnetic force
• Interpersonal attraction – the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships.

At the level of physics, attraction describes a force that draws 2 objects together; is that the same thing as 2 people being attracted to one another? In other words, is there volition in the apparent choice to befriend another, or is it fated ? As human beings we believe we’re choosing when we relate to another, but is that a fact, or our ego’s claiming power when it, like a leaf on the wind, is being moved by something outside its awareness? The proverbial can of worms; fate or free-will.

When shot by Eros’  arrow of love, choice is not an option; we Fall in Love.  Most of us have had the experience of that trickster character and his mischievous arrows; even the Greek God Zeus trembled at his name.  The individual ego is flooded with love/attraction for an object, and cannot stop thinking or feeling about that special other.  What suddenly made that other so attractive? We call it mystery, chemistry, projection of our idealized lover, meeting with the soul-mate, but by whatever name we call it, we are helpless to resist and like the moth to the flame, we go. Burning with desire, we becoming fools for love.

The last time Eros shot me, I determined, resolutely, that never again did I wish to be so wounded.  Though painful in youth, the experience of being overwhelmed by the need for another as an adult was excruciating.  Like body-surfing an ocean wave,  it was exhilarating but when the wave pulls you under and twirls you around and around and won’t let you up for air, it is not so much fun.

 I love to love but do not enjoy being in love.  Like Zeus I know better than to believe I can prevent Eros from shooting me, if he will, but what does that mean, and what is the difference?

Do we really ever choose who to befriend, or is it all fated, karmic? And like the extreme of Falling in Love, is all love/attraction a kind of given that we experience but do not ever actually have a choice about?

Who the heck is Eros anyway? More tomorrow.

 Where I live on a mountain songbirds are unusual, yet as of three days ago, a beautiful singer has wakened me each morning. The sound is delirious and draws me happily from my bed.  Hope does spring eternal, he seems to say, and believing him, I venture once again into the world with a light step, wondering what this day will bring.

 How is this possible after 60 years of days to still be so inspired?

Writing about Snow White in the last post, I suggested that being open and accepting whatever comes -which doesn’t mean we have to like it, by the way–is a way of living that has merit.

 The songbird reminds me of the attitude life has; life as an object like myself which has it’s likes and dislikes; it’s seasons, its moods(the weather), yet in that continual round Life always returns to spring and spring is hope eternal. Not each moment, for there are the other attitudes as well, but it always returns and no matter how sad, or dejected or discouraged or tired I am, it will return eventually and I will hear the song bird and be glad to be here and curious about this day.

Troubadours, those classic purveyors of song, grace the woods with their melodies and call us to venture once again into the unknown; into spring where we may be foolish again, we may be careless, as in Camelot; the Lusty Month of May: when everyone throws self-control away. And everyone makes divine mistakes.

May our mistakes be divine; that is, accepted, as we traipse(spelling?)through the tulips yet again in search of love.

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Being a Gemini, a woman, and an artist, one of my favorite pastimes is doing several things at once. Right now I’m writing this post, cooking beef stew,  and watching  Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs .  Made in 1937 , it is one of the first full length animation features, but the story is far older.  Originating in Northern Europe where the Brothers Grimm heard it and wrote it down after generations of being handed down by word of mouth at the fire in the evening, it is a timeless story of human life. 

Snow White, the image of the young feminine; innocent, beautiful, curious, loving, and above all; accepting of everything that comes into her life, exemplifies the archetypal process of life which includes encountering the dark side; those things that we call “unacceptable.”   Snow White accepts everything, including the dark, and though it appears at first that she made a mistake to let acceptance be her guide, in the end she triumphs. What are the factors that bring about that triumph? The seven dwarfs are elements of her unconscious that protect her; Doc-intelligence, Sneezy-physical sensitivety, Dopey- the fool, Bashful- emotional sensitivity, Grumpy-the cynic, Happy- the optimist, Sleepy-the unconscious.

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 The individual Self (Snow White in this case) accepts the witch/queen, with an open heart. That naivete will apparently be the end of her, however, aided by the sub-personalities(the seven dwarfs) a protective coffin is built, through which she can still be seen, so that eventually her love finds her and brings her back to life.  In other words, love can never die, hope can never end, acceptance breeds life.

Living with an open heart, we are able to take in all that life brings.  All things become possible.  When the heart is closed, nothing is possible.

Following up on yesterday’s post about intimacy is the old; if a tree falls in the forest conundrum.   If no one hears it, did it fall? If no one sees me do I exist?

At around 2 years old children must work through the developmental issue–the conundrum– of whether they’re special or not; whether they exist as a unique entity.  Every other sentence, is “look at me . . .” As parents, it’s exhausting however, if the child isn’t adequately reflected he turns inward to see himself- and like Narcissus in Greek Mythology, he’s forced to hold up his own mirror to realize his existence. He now lives in his own eyes but lacks an ability to see others.

If the child is seen by his parents the conundrum is resolved in an ability to know he’s the only one, but he’s not the only one who’s the only one.

Held in solitary confinement or being stranded alone on a desert island, will drive anyone mad. The ego cannot hold  it’s grip on reality without support from the environment. Like the child unreflected, the solitary human will turn to the unconscious for validation which is the definition of madness; the boundary between the ego consciousness and the vastness of the collective unconscious is broken and the ego is drowned in archetypal images.

Psychological existence is dependent on visibility. If, like the tree that falls in the forest, he falls and no one hears him, he doesn’t exist–to himself.  And since no one else is there to see him fall, to anyone else either.

Whether physical existence is dependent on visibility is a question for tomorrow.

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