Jan 20 2010

Water falls

Wind –whistle. . .  wet–whine . . .  weather–wonder . . .   water–whimsy . . . withywindle–Bombadil.

A waterfall proceeds from a flood of wind whistle wet whine weather wonder water whimsy withywindle Bombadil. An alternative to media news– how many inches will fall and what catastrophe will result from said inches– is achieved.

In a whimsy of water wonder, the mountain is streaming, dreaming of fishes, dreaming of life underground underfoot underhill, wetting its whistle in long draughts of crystaline purity.  Falling from above to below, from the sky to the ground, from the heights to the depths it fills every tiny crack, fissure, hole, void; healing all divisions, it brings together what, through draught, was torn asunder. 

Whistle a merry tune as the wind whines and wends its worried way through forest growth to clean and clear the old and dead, falling as the water to meet and make a mush to feed worms and weavils, mushrooms and columbine.  If the house I built, or the den made by a coyote, or the ant’s carefully constructed hill slips and slides moved by water’s fall, so???


Nov 19 2009

Travel Bug

Stored safely in travelers bodies upon return from exotic destinations are just as exotic bugs –travelbugs.   Catching a ride on high speed vehicles to colonize new planets, the darlings have “traveled” the world and today are more prolific than the w.w.w. humans are so fond of.

Where did  this interesting juxtoposition of terms originate?There are 145 million links on google,and though I didn’t read through all of them, the first few pages didn’t give the original derivation of the term.  How many links do you think there are in the bug world? Quadro-trillions? (If Shakespeare could make up words, so can I, and though today we think “he’s Shakespeare,  he’s brilliant.” When he made up the words he was just a guy and his mother would surely have protested at the proliferation of misspelled words on his pages.

Now, about those bugs, the difference between a home-grown bug and those brought from far away places is that our bodies recognize the difference and tolerate the home bodies with reasonable discomfort (reasonable discomfort being an oxymoron). While, on the other hand, they react violently to strangers, even when the stranger is no more of an actual threat.

Our psyche reacts just as the body; experiencing reasonable discomfort when those we know hurt, abuse, ignore, or violate our persons while fearing a stranger no matter how kind their intentions.  We trust known individuals to do what they usually do and distrust the unknown for we do not know what they may be capable of.


Nov 1 2008

Saturday, November 1st

Mist swirls around my woodland cottage like giant angel wings that flutter and fan; forms appear and disappear back into the void, unbelievable earth magic. The “day of the dead” a time of magic, of sorcery and the unseen. How perfect that the weather mirrors this concept. Today a group of women share “Psyche’s tasks with me and we play with forms; magazine cutouts, ribbons, tinsel and glitter to create individual visions of the creative process within each of us to honor life, the great mother and her abundant gifts.

How grateful I am for such a day and the opportunity to share it with other caring beings.  It is a welcome reminder that no matter what is going on around us we have the capacity for appreciation and joy and to continually find new answers to the challenges that life brings. Remember always that there is another day and with that day another chance to love, to share, to enjoy, to hope, until there is not.

I am both glad and sad and tears flow from both feelings like the rain outside.  A wise woman once said that a woman needs to cry every day to keep the feelings flowing and the heart open–  an internal washing that cleanses stuck feelings that may be lingering and are no longer relevant. It is critical that our feeling body be fresh and able to receive what this day has to offer.  Yesterday’s feelings are of no use today and can interfere in the ability to respond authentically to what is here now..


Oct 22 2008

Wednesday, October 22

As I talk with friends and family it’s interesting to note how many are on fire with new purpose. This response to the current crises is heartening.  It proves what I have been on fire with myself and that is that the correct response to change is to become more creative, not to curl into a ball shivering in fright unable to move.

A favorite story comes to mind:

Two frogs were hopping through the barn and each jumped accidentally into separate pails of milk. Both frogs flailed their legs wildly and cried out with fright “I’m going to die, I’m going to die”  One frog then threw up his arms in despair and sank to the bottom and died. The other frog kept flailing all night until the milk turned to butter and he climbed out.

There are distinct recognizable psychological differences between individuals who do well in crises and those who do not.  Those differences are what I propose to explore in the workshop for winter “Creative Tools for Changing Times.” Some people learn those skills as young people surviving difficult environments while others seem to come equipped with them but in either case they are things that can be taught. 

“Courage is tested under duress”,” character is formed in the struggle with life’s challenges.” Cliches are archetypal expressions true at all times and places.  I tend not to use them for they are a lazy way to say something and yet why reinvent the wheel.  Nothing could be truer about facing difficulties than these truisms and though I would never ask for life to be difficult in order to become strong, when it does become difficult I can accept the challenge and engage with it with all of my energy and awareness so that the opportunity to improve is not lost.


Oct 20 2008

Monday, October 20th

Due to the changes in our world I’ve decided to focus all my attention on workshops and counseling and put aside writing fiction for the time being. I believe the need for tools in a changing time is greater than that of purely self focused projects.

My grandmother used to tell stories about “the great depression” as she called it. Not that that is where we are; our current situation is unique as the time and circumstances are different. However, her stories about altering expectations and banding together to weather the storm were positive and made me wish for something like that in my own life. A time when people would realize how important they are to each other, and reach out to help and support and co-create their lives. The stories were about sharing meals and coming up with ways to have fun without spending money. My father was a young man and he and his friends spent all their leisure time “hanging out” sharing meals and games, putting on musicals and plays instead of going to paid events, saving for things and looking forward to them like trips to Yosemite camping or to the beach on the trolley in Los Angeles where they lived.

I love life and I love my life but there are things that I find unnecessarily harsh, things to do with living too much as solitary individuals; missing a sense of community on a daily basis which has been  lost in the last generation.  I don’t believe humans are meant to live so selfishly. It is painful to believe one is so alone and that everything must be done by oneself without support of family and friends.  So many people in this country now live that way and it makes me terribly sad. If there is a silver lining to this time, one of the ways I see that is in our realizing once again that working together is a lot more satisfying productive and fun that doing it all alone.

One of my reasons for studying other cultures and other times has been a desire to find a sense of connection that no longer exists as it once did in this country. No where and at no time in any history that we know of have people lived such solitary, disconnected lives. The first time I went to India I would watch people with one another, always touching and always emotionally connected. I sat in a group meeting and watched a mother and her grown daughter; the way they touched as they talked, the ease of their being with one another made my cry and long for such comfort. Life is difficult and challenging in any time or place but it does not have to be so harsh!!!.

With that in mind I’ve expanded the schedule of workshops for 2008 and ‘09. My intention is to create more workshops that will look at tools for positive change both individually and collectively. Look in the schedule section of this site to see what’s coming.  If you have interest and live in the SF Bay area please contact me.


Oct 17 2008

Friday, October 17th

There is no longer any doubt that deep change is upon us. I often feel that I, and the greater WE, are at the end of our tether– that what we know is no longer enough and that the abyss is before us ( as in the unknown, not necessarily death and dismemberment per-se but probably something akin to it)  The real unknown does not feel friendly, not soft and cuddly, not attractive or alluring, but just down right scary.

Anyone who tells me to embrace the unknown must have been thinking of something else.

However, there certainly are moments of curiosity and a bit– just an inkling– of excitement, for hope, though not always perceptible, is in the wind and when a whiff goes by and I inhale deeply, I am momentarily content. I also know that it is in this kind of time, whether I like it or not, that I become my best self and my reason for being reveals itself with crystal clarity.

From when I was very young I sang. I sang for one reason — to lighten the environment and both receive, from the vibration of the notes in my body, and give– Inspiration.

Once our attention returns from its obsession with acquisitions in the material world an interesting possibility reveals itself—to appreciate what we have now. Some of us have sought answers from various guru types as to how to be present and what the secrets of the universe are, and how to love, and what our purpose is in being here.  We’ve done daily exercises, mantras, affirmations, gone on pilgrimages and strict diets etc.

But there is no teacher like reality, no guru so powerful or able to give us the answers we’ve been seeking.  All it takes is being beaten down to the ground, having all our toys taken away from us, all our addictions, our distractions. Then maybe, if we’re willing to look for the silver lining, it appears; the truth of our and of all existence, the reason d’etre,

We’re here for only a few moments and while we’re here we have the incredible opportunity to enjoy the show and love all that we come in contact with. We can do that whether our 401K is doing well or not, whether there is a wolf at the door, whether we must find a new job, it’s simply a journey from birth to death. How will we go through it is the one true choice we have.

Not what,  BUT HOW.


Jun 23 2008

Monday, June 23rd

This begins to be more of a monthly journal than a blog; my own form dependent on inspiration and time. Life has been full but not overburdened and summer in my garden is a delight.  The plants have taken a liking to their home on the mountain and fairies and unseen creatures, having discovered their joy, cavort with them in the evenings.  When I go out in the morning, the particular spot where they’ve spent time still holds the memory of their presence; they leave behind a different quality of light – a gleam.  Nothing could so assure me that my efforts are accepted by nature as in this evidence of obvious approval.

For the time being I’ve set aside the marketing of “Time and Transformation” and returned to complete the long novel of the Minoans. The Minoan story is told to a young girl growing up on Crete in the home of an archaeologist, by her Cretan nanny. It will be two books for it’s far too long for one which gives me the liberty to fill out the girl, Gloria’s side of the story as she struggles to overcome the debilitating effects of a dark mother. The Minoan story is already complete.  As much as I enjoyed living among the ancient Maya and bringing Balamka’s adventure to life, the Minoans are the people of my heart and the characters who lived in their time are my very soul.  The first sentence I ever wrote was devoted to them, many many years ago when I went looking for a culture in which to place a story of healing caves; ancient places of psychological birth. On Crete I found the birth place of Zeus in the Dictaen Caves and so began a sojourn that became three different versions of their story. I would put it aside, go back and start again, and again. I know that I must finish but I will never leave them, nor they me for nothing that ever was can not be, and everything loved is forever held in the soul.


May 28 2008

Wednesday, May 28

I’ve put the latest Yucatan article up on the site in the articles section titled,”Travels in the Yucatan.”

Preparing for the next workshop June 1st on feminine archetypes, we’ll be focusing on the dark side of the Great Goddess. Not a favorite subject but an important one, and one that personal experience has taught me, had best be attended to or She will demand attention and that is NEVER a good thing, as Sleeping Beauty and other heroines and heroes have learned.  She goes by many names through time and space, essentially representing loss of consciousness, whether that means physical death or ego death.  If truth be told, no matter what story we may tell ourselves about either of those options, it is truly terrifying or so She has the power to frighten us. There is NOTHING maternal about her.  She is not ambivalent but entirely horrible. The Indian goddess Kali best represents Her in modern time when, in western culture she’s been sent back to the unconscious. As I mentioned earlier, that is not a good idea. One can wonder if our current world crises may have something to do with our denial of death.


May 14 2008

Wednesday. May 14th

The series of non-fiction articles I’ve been writing for the magazine Ancient American has been great fun; an opportunity to speak directly about the classic Maya. The latest edition Vol 12 Number 78, just came out and is available on the newsstands at Borders, Barnes and Noble, etc. In that issue the second article in the series of six further explores the Mayan’s spiritual beliefs and the way they were woven into daily life.  There are several color photographs of the region of Sayil and Kabah; ruin sites on the western end of the Yucatan peninsula.  The next article will be about Uxmal, also in the western region, but much larger and more well known than Kabah and Sayil. All are wonderful and well worth a visit. I hope to get the article up on this site soon but in the meantime please pick up a copy of the magazine if you’re interested.


May 11 2008

Sunday May 11th

I must revise my previous statement about best moments for I now have a new favorite “best” moment. Or I should say best hours. Last night’s book launch at Book Passages was more than I could have hoped for.  The eager faces of many friends and family members was like looking into a sea of love and with that support, telling the story of writing Time & Transformation and reading excerpts from it, was a pure delight.

Thank you, thank you all so very much.  The years of sitting alone struggling to bring the story into a coherent form are now totally worth it. There are times that I love being alone but I must admit to having felt a bit deprived of human contact these last years. I’m encouraged and inspired to pursue the promotion of the book and to have many more best moments and hours sharing the work with the world.

For those of you who get nervous when someone gets too bubbly, never fear, I was trained by a mother who was always on the lookout for too much happiness and would squish it like a bug when she saw it appear. I know better than to be too happy. But I am going to indulge in it for a little while before coming back to the ground and the day-to-dayness of life. Pure happiness is so rare.

The next reading for the book is Saturday, May 17TH at the Orinda Bookstore at 1PM. For directions go to Orindabooks.com.