Colette Obrien

Martin Buber in his tiny jewel of a book wrote of the I/Thou Relationship he’d come to understand as a concentration camp survivor.

Somewhere in the divide between opposites is a connector, and the connector is the Self or Soul, the light of which draws all together in harmony and balance.  One finds the Self in the effort to expand consciousness; to go beyond apparent conflict to resolution that does not diminish either side but mediates.

The Self mediating conflict.

I’ve been blessed that my dog and cat are best friends.  They chase one another around the furniture, the cat jumping up to the top of things where my dog pants from below waiting for the moment he knows his friend will jump down, and they’ll wrestle on the floor leaving piles of fur but never a nick in the skin of either. 

They are my model of resolution of difference. Each is programmed to hate the other and yet, being individuals, they choose to relate not as enemies but playmates.  And I, The Self, watch delighted, in hope for the world. 

In a post last week I spoke about the goddess Nemesis who is really a friend in the guise of an enemy.  When we are able to see in such a way, the world will be renewed; mankind will achieve its true potential.

Consciousness grows through the necessity to resolve conflict. 

A core conflict experienced as early as 1 year old is the apparent opposition of the individual and the group.  Pulled by one side and then the other, the child must struggle to realize they are not at odds but are two sides of one thing; an individual pea in a pot of peas.

Until this conflict is adequately resolved, the individual will waver from self to other and back again, constantly teetering on the razor’s edge of reason; how can it be both? If I am a member of a group I must agree with the group, but if I don’t agree I will be left out, rejected.  And human consciousness at the group level has yet to resolve this divide which forces the individual to capitulate or isolate.  Neither is a choice.

Trapped between the two, a chasm forms, that over time, deepens until the two sides are pushed further and further apart creating an insecure system.  An insecure person, by definition, is one who is uncertain as to his identity.  Such an individual, locked between the two sides of reality is incapable of seeing outside the narrow chasm his consciousness has formed within making him incapable of caring for another; the other can’t be seen as anything but a threat to his delicate balance.

Leaping into the void, recovery of self is possible, but it will appear to be a great risk.  Many of us have memories of such risk taking.  Often it will occur at puberty when the issue comes to the fore once again. If it wasn’t resolved earlier, here is another opportunity.  Healthy rebellion is that chance. 

At the dinner table my father routinely humiliated my younger brother.  At one such dinner I couldn’t remain silent any longer to the abuse we’d all witnessed for years.  My heart beating so hard I was sure it could be heard above the nervous clatter of silver ware, I spoke up for my brother. Father’s eyes glared into mine as I resolutely held my ground quaking. 

 I’ve not been more frightened since then, but I discovered the world didn’t end; everyone went back to their food and no more was said.  But I had ventured into the void and survived. I was an individual and had not been sent to solitary confinement.

Compassion from the Latin roots: com; together plus, passion; to suffer extreme emotion. Therefore to  experience compassion is  to come together in extreme suffering.

At the level of instinct all herd animals, humans included, gather together for protection.  Which can appear to be concern for the other when it is merely a  survival technique.  Fish swim in schools, buffalo in herds, geese in flocks, etc. So what is the difference between the necessity to bond to be safe and a felt “com-passion” for another? Humans are not the only herd animal with this attribute; dogs and elephants are well-known for their compassion.                                                                                                             

Cats and other animals who are solitary in nature appear more distant and uncaring.  Though many cats I’ve known have exhibited a concern for emotional suffering, it is less common and we don’t associate them with that attribute. 

What is the worst punishment if not isolation, exile, being sent away, left out, rejected? Every child lives in terror of mother turning her back on them, and by school age, a human child will do almost anything to be accepted by the group.

Group pressure is responsible for some of the most gruesome acts perpetrated by man; the many examples of ethnic cleansing throughout history occured because the group decided to reject another culture.  Bonding together for protection would suggest the members of the rejecting group had no knowledge of compassion.

There is no more pitiful site than the rejected member. Left alone with no witness, there is nothing to mediate his suffering. Compassion is the connection between one and another that lets the sufferer know they are not alone.

Only when we go beyond the selfish drive to be connected for protection, can true compassion arise.

Whether we know it or not, we’re all connected to one another, and to every other atom in the universe. 

The unique thing about our human connection is that as a species we have a particuar quality of connection; as do baboons to one another, reptiles, quarks and any other species. 

We relate more to our own than to another only because our experience and conditioning is the same.

When the magician, Merlin was teaching the young Arthur to become king, he gave him the experience of being a fish, a bird, and other species he was related to, but was not.  This unique perspective transcends the hubris of human arrogance and builds compassion for all life. 

How very much our world needs to see this way, to feel this way; outside the limits of our own skin where life is sacred, profound and precious.

One of the beautiful things that came out of the 60’s experiment with consciousness was just such an expanded awareness.  Whether the shift was brought about through drugs, meditation, or any other practice that broke down the walls of our Box, the result was a generation more open, more compassionate, more forgiving than the one that came before. Not everyone who had that experience remembers it today, but human consciousness made a slight shift toward awareness beyond our own species.

The result of that shift can be seen in many areas of life today; humanitarian, ecological, protection of other species, physical health through diet,  exercise and some form of spiritual practice;  basically in a more compassionate approach to living with all other life, and to the health of the planet itself.

When we know we’re connected we care for that which is outside the boundaries of our own skin.  When we don’t know we don’t care. More on care, compassion, empathy, for the rest of this week.

In answer to concern about the demise of planet earth as a result of humanity’s negligence, my wise father once said, “It is hubris to imagine our small ant selves can kill Life Itself.” 

Witness 2010’s celebration of spring:

The grand mistress of creation; Mother Nature honors new life each year.

Her children bask in abundance once more, no matter how hard the winter has been.  All is forgotten/forgiven.

The Hills are alive with the sound of Music

The Great Mother, in the habit of saying “die” each winter, always also says, “live” each spring.  At least on this planet, and it is after all, the only one we experience, life and death are a cyclical process; that cycle being nature’s assurance that death is but a relief to be followed closely by an in-breath of life. 

So breathe in the message of spring, love well, and rest content.  There is no end, only a continual transformation of the all.

the Greek Goddess Nemesis is the personification of divine justice and the vengeance of the gods, sometimes called the daughter of Night, she represents the righteous anger of the gods against the proud and haughty and against breakers of the law, distributing good or bad fortune to all mortals. No one can escape her power. This goddess helps to avenge those who are wronged.

The book of deeds; how terrifying it is to think there is such a book, and that someday we will have to face the truth of the many actions and inactions recorded there.

I would rather face a wild boar or angry client or bankruptcy, or any other physical catastrophe than to face what is in that book; to face the fact that I am responsible for each and every one of the things recorded there.

Part of me is still a child and wishes to play with no consequences; to apologize to my friend when I’ve been mean to her and go on with no further thought about my behavior.

Nemesis reminds us that whether we’re children or adults, all our choices have consequences, and if we’ve done harm, amends are required.

Isn’t it interesting that our current definition of a Nemisis is one who is against us; an enemy or foe?  Yet the root meaning is one of justice. 

What a clever criminal is the human ego who redefines the need to make amends for our mistakes as wrong, and says that we should fight that force, rather than accept and be grateful that there is a scale, by whatever name we give to it, that takes account, and

                                            it really does matter what we do!!!!

The fool is not the only agent of surprise.  Coyote and his side-kick  the trickster are all cousins in the neverending question of what will life bring next?

Like Wells Fargo stagecoaches that, through rain sleet or snow, promise to deliver your mail on time, each morning is a new day, and though you work diligently to control what comes in the mail, many surprises lie in wait on your doorstep.

 Will the gods be kind and deliver marvelous experiences, taking us to beautiful places with loving people, friendly animals, abundant food, beauty?

Or will they traumatize?         

Is there any rhyme or reason to what comes or doesn’t come to you? If there is a God, does He/She love you and give you goodies, or hate you and punish you with thorns?    

Do you draw to you what you believe will come through some version of self-fulfilling prophesy; create your own reality?    And what happens to the idea of a creator in that scenario?

If you are a soul transmigrating through time and have done wrong things, the packages at your door will be of your making; Karmic payback for pastlife mistakes.   

On the other hand, maybe there is simply a trickster element in the universe, like a kind of quark, whose purpose is to keep you on your toes, keep you awake, to the experience of life. 

Each surprise whether delightful or Nemetic (just made up that word, but it seems to work) is a tiny ah ha, gotcha, to remind us that whatever we believe about life and our place in it, we are not in charge!!

Maybe the only control we have is in how we respond to the packages.

And what is a Nemesis anyway? Tomorrow we shall meet her, one of the lost great goddesses maligned in western history since the Greeks fell out of favor giving way to The One God.

Every adventure is begun by the fool, every treasure discovered by risk, there is no reward without consequence–good or bad?

How many fools headed across America, through unmapped territory inhabited by millions of angry displaced original inhabitants, unheard of mammoth predators, limitless mountain ranges, killer weather, barely anything to eat  . . .  in search of what? Opportunity; gold in California, land for farming and raising livestock, freedom from oppression . . .

All at a risk I’m happy to say I did not have to take.                                         

                                                                                                    Ship Of Fools

 Of the hundreds of thousands of fools on that ship who risked everything for the slim chance of finding Gold, what percentage were rewarded positively for their efforts, and how many, by the end of the arduous journey, felt at best foolish, and at worst were ruined?

Those many unfortunate souls would have certainly believed a cruel April Fools trick had been played on them.  Isn’t that why we have an April Fools Day; to celebrate and hopefully laugh at the times when our foolish leap has ended in our having been tricked?

I have 3 younger brothers and this particular holiday was a favorite of ours growing up. None of us ever missed an opportunity to play a trick, and because it was sanctioned on this day, be forgiven. 

However, being tricked by the fool is difficult to forgive when the trick costs us more than a little loss of face.  The fool does not intent to hurt but only to prick the ego’s bubble when it has become inflated.  (Reference yesterdays essay on the importance of the fool in the courts of kings.)  Losing face is an important side effect of the fool, for his purpose is to prevent us from  thinking too highly of ourselves; his tricks are meant to keep us humble.