Colette Obrien

As I talk with friends and family it’s interesting to note how many are on fire with new purpose. This response to the current crises is heartening.  It proves what I have been on fire with myself and that is that the correct response to change is to become more creative, not to curl into a ball shivering in fright unable to move.

A favorite story comes to mind:

Two frogs were hopping through the barn and each jumped accidentally into separate pails of milk. Both frogs flailed their legs wildly and cried out with fright “I’m going to die, I’m going to die”  One frog then threw up his arms in despair and sank to the bottom and died. The other frog kept flailing all night until the milk turned to butter and he climbed out.

There are distinct recognizable psychological differences between individuals who do well in crises and those who do not.  Those differences are what I propose to explore in the workshop for winter “Creative Tools for Changing Times.” Some people learn those skills as young people surviving difficult environments while others seem to come equipped with them but in either case they are things that can be taught. 

“Courage is tested under duress”,” character is formed in the struggle with life’s challenges.” Cliches are archetypal expressions true at all times and places.  I tend not to use them for they are a lazy way to say something and yet why reinvent the wheel.  Nothing could be truer about facing difficulties than these truisms and though I would never ask for life to be difficult in order to become strong, when it does become difficult I can accept the challenge and engage with it with all of my energy and awareness so that the opportunity to improve is not lost.

Due to the changes in our world I’ve decided to focus all my attention on workshops and counseling and put aside writing fiction for the time being. I believe the need for tools in a changing time is greater than that of purely self focused projects.

My grandmother used to tell stories about “the great depression” as she called it. Not that that is where we are; our current situation is unique as the time and circumstances are different. However, her stories about altering expectations and banding together to weather the storm were positive and made me wish for something like that in my own life. A time when people would realize how important they are to each other, and reach out to help and support and co-create their lives. The stories were about sharing meals and coming up with ways to have fun without spending money. My father was a young man and he and his friends spent all their leisure time “hanging out” sharing meals and games, putting on musicals and plays instead of going to paid events, saving for things and looking forward to them like trips to Yosemite camping or to the beach on the trolley in Los Angeles where they lived.

I love life and I love my life but there are things that I find unnecessarily harsh, things to do with living too much as solitary individuals; missing a sense of community on a daily basis which has been  lost in the last generation.  I don’t believe humans are meant to live so selfishly. It is painful to believe one is so alone and that everything must be done by oneself without support of family and friends.  So many people in this country now live that way and it makes me terribly sad. If there is a silver lining to this time, one of the ways I see that is in our realizing once again that working together is a lot more satisfying productive and fun that doing it all alone.

One of my reasons for studying other cultures and other times has been a desire to find a sense of connection that no longer exists as it once did in this country. No where and at no time in any history that we know of have people lived such solitary, disconnected lives. The first time I went to India I would watch people with one another, always touching and always emotionally connected. I sat in a group meeting and watched a mother and her grown daughter; the way they touched as they talked, the ease of their being with one another made my cry and long for such comfort. Life is difficult and challenging in any time or place but it does not have to be so harsh!!!.

With that in mind I’ve expanded the schedule of workshops for 2008 and ‘09. My intention is to create more workshops that will look at tools for positive change both individually and collectively. Look in the schedule section of this site to see what’s coming.  If you have interest and live in the SF Bay area please contact me.

There is no longer any doubt that deep change is upon us. I often feel that I, and the greater WE, are at the end of our tether– that what we know is no longer enough and that the abyss is before us ( as in the unknown, not necessarily death and dismemberment per-se but probably something akin to it)  The real unknown does not feel friendly, not soft and cuddly, not attractive or alluring, but just down right scary.

Anyone who tells me to embrace the unknown must have been thinking of something else.

However, there certainly are moments of curiosity and a bit– just an inkling– of excitement, for hope, though not always perceptible, is in the wind and when a whiff goes by and I inhale deeply, I am momentarily content. I also know that it is in this kind of time, whether I like it or not, that I become my best self and my reason for being reveals itself with crystal clarity.

From when I was very young I sang. I sang for one reason — to lighten the environment and both receive, from the vibration of the notes in my body, and give– Inspiration.

Once our attention returns from its obsession with acquisitions in the material world an interesting possibility reveals itself—to appreciate what we have now. Some of us have sought answers from various guru types as to how to be present and what the secrets of the universe are, and how to love, and what our purpose is in being here.  We’ve done daily exercises, mantras, affirmations, gone on pilgrimages and strict diets etc.

But there is no teacher like reality, no guru so powerful or able to give us the answers we’ve been seeking.  All it takes is being beaten down to the ground, having all our toys taken away from us, all our addictions, our distractions. Then maybe, if we’re willing to look for the silver lining, it appears; the truth of our and of all existence, the reason d’etre,

We’re here for only a few moments and while we’re here we have the incredible opportunity to enjoy the show and love all that we come in contact with. We can do that whether our 401K is doing well or not, whether there is a wolf at the door, whether we must find a new job, it’s simply a journey from birth to death. How will we go through it is the one true choice we have.

Not what,  BUT HOW.